Deployment: November 2006

Just FYI: dh=dear husband, ds1=dear son 1, ds2=dear son 2, dd=dear daughter, PTL=praise the Lord, FIL=father-in-law, BIL=brother-in-law, SIL=sister-in-law
Also, peoples' comments I included are in italics with the person's name in parenthesis

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November 3, 2006

So I have just a minute or two and I thought I should post a quick update on what's been going on with my dh since he's been home on leave.

Some of you may remember that he injured his wrist breaking up a fight 2-3 mos ago. First they said it was a sprain and did nothing for a month, then when it didn't get better he was examined again and over the course of 24 hours went from being badly broken and needing surgery to something not so serious so they were going to try a cast for a month and see what happened.

Anyway, two days before he was supposed to come home for leave they wanted to send him to a specialist and if it was determined that he needed surgery then he wouldn't have been able to come home for leave and would have had to stay for the surgery and such over there. Thankfully, dh's commander or whoever said that would be a lousy thing to do to a guy and his family two days before he was supposed to be going home and they told him to skip the specialist, go home on leave and get a second opinion over here.

Well, that's what he did and I guess he really shouldn't have since it opened a big can of worms. Now he can't go back to Iraq until he's cleared medically (which to me is a good thing ) and according to some bigwig over there he shouldn't have even come home if he wasn't cleared medically in the first place. Too late for that now.
Anyway, the good thing is that I get a few extra days with him. He was supposed to be leaving for Kuwait tomorrow morning and now he doesn't have to leave until Tuesday. On Tuesday someone will come and pick him up to drive to Ft McCoy, WI where they'll start the process of figuring out what the heck is wrong with his wrist. most likely he'll end up being sent to Ft Knox, KY at some point for medical treatment.

The specialist we saw in town said he did have a break but it had healed and that he would recommend an MRI before moving forward with any kind of surgery. Please pray that my dh will get the medical attention he needs and that we will know as soon as possible whether or not he will be returning to Iraq. If he needs surgery it is likely the rest of his deployment will be cancelled and he will be home early. (of course I'm trying not to hope too much, but that would sure be a nice Christmas present for us)

Anyway, thanks to everyone for all the thoughts and prayers for me and my family. I'm sure I'll be back more after he's gone to WI. I try to keep up with reading for a few minutes each day, but I haven't been able to post much. Just know I'm thinking about all of you and I send up prayers for my MOPS family every day. Oh, and welcome to any newbies who have joined in the last couple of weeks.

Kate

As far as the use of his wrist goes, it still bothers him when he lifts heavy things. He said over all it feels better since he's starting to build up muscle again after having been in a cast, but he still has pain that isn't getting any better.

I am concerned that if it doesn't get fixed soon there may be permanent damage and with him being in law enforcement I don't know what that will mean for his civillian job. I am just praying that they will figure out what is actually wrong so they can find the appropriate treatment. I am still extremely irritated with the care (or lack there of) he received when he was first injured. I think it's partially his own darn fault for not insisting to see a specialist after the fiasco with needing surgery and then just needing a cast. If I had two contrasting medical opinions like that I would have insisted to see someone who actually specializes in orthopedics! Too late now.

Anyway, thanks again for all the prayers.

Kate

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November 7, 2006

Please join in prayer for KateD's hubby today and in the next however long it takes until they find out the verdict on his wrist and whether or not he will go back to Iraq. I am sure the waiting and not knowing is the hardest.

God, we just lift up Kate's husband to You, as well as Kate and the kids. We know that You are in control of the entire situation, and that the outcome will be according to Your will. I pray for wisdom for the doctors as they decide the necessary treatment, and most of all for peace and patience as he and Kate wait for the outcome. Help them to wait and to trust in You. In Jesus' name, Amen. (dawnie)

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I know he's only going to Wisconsin, but it's still hard to have him gone. Both my boys have been pretty down about it and dd was napping when he left so I don't know how she'll be when she discovers that he's gone. She's become quite a Daddy's Girl since dh has been home. I am guessing the reaction of a 16 month old will be quite different than that of a 9 month old.

Anyway, thanks so much for the prayers and support. More than anything I just want him to find out for sure what's wrong with his wrist and get the treatment for it that he needs. He said he won't know anything for a few days because they have to get him processed and all that, but I'll keep you posted as I find out more info.

On the bright side... he does get to have his cell phone so I'll be able to talk to him more than when he was overseas. That will be nice. Even if I can't talk to him in person I can leave messages on his voice mail. Also, my college roommate and I will be going through WI this weekend to go see my uncle in a play so we may be able to stop by the base he'll be at for a quick visit on our way out or on our way home. I am really hoping that will work out, but we'll have to see what happens.

Thanks again for everything!

Kate

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November 8, 2006

Do any of your kids…

try to hurt themselves in the same way one of their siblings did just to receive the same attention from you? Or does my ds2 just have some "owie envy" issues?

Ds1 was trying to crawl into bed with me this morning and slipped and hit his head on my dresser. He said he needed "something cold" to make it feel better so we went to the kitchen and got one of those plastic ice cubes I have just for boo boos and had him put it on his head. As I'm doing that I hear a couple of thumps and I look over to see ds2 banging his head on the cupboard and fake crying "I need something cold! I need something cold!" If you're going to hurt yourself on purpose at least go into the other room so I don't see you doing it.

I suppose I could somehow blame this behavior on dh leaving yesterday, but I have a feeling it's more than that.

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I talked to dh last night and he made it safely to WI. He said it sounds like today he'll be seeing doctors and he will hopefully know later today or tomorrow what's wrong with him and if he needs surgery.
Please pray that he gets an MRI and that it shows the doctors what they need to see to determine what is wrong with him.

If you could also pray for speedy results I would appreciate it. This not knowing for sure what's going to happen is driving me crazy. I know it's in God's hands and I just need to trust in Him, but knowing it and actually doing it are two different things. KWIM? I am trying, but it seems like it's been forever since he was first injured and I just want to know one way or the other if he'll have to stay in the states for treatment or if they'll determine it's nothing serious and he'll be sent back to Iraq.

Thanks everyone!

Kate

I just talked to my dh and I am more frustrated than ever. They have him in a splint again. (he was in one for 2.5 weeks before he saw the specialist here who told him he didn't need it) They say he needs to wear it for three weeks and do physical therapy and then see what happens. Supposedly these docs see a break on the X-rays that the specialists didn't see. *fighting the urge to post an eyeroll*

Even though the "civillian" specialists he saw while on leave suggested an MRI would be the next logical step to make sure there's no cartilage or ligament damage they are refusing to sign off on it and send dh for an MRI. I am thinking that if a cast for a month didn't do anything and a splint for 2.5 weeks didn't do anything then why not do the MRI and make sure there is nothing more serious wrong there.

I am going to ask dh to have the military docs call the specialist he saw and talk to him themselves. It just frustrates me that they seem to be jerking him around so much with his care. If he weren't deployed for active duty right now we would have been able to follow the advice of "civillian" docs and get the care they recommend. We would have known by now what all is wrong with him and we would be able to get him the appropriate treatment.

Not that military docs are bad or anything, it's just that seeing an actual orthopedic surgeon and having your x-rays sent to an orthopedic wrist specialist for evaluation seems to me like it should carry more weight with them than it is. (and we had to pay out-of-pocket for the darn specialist visit!)

Okay, if you've read all this you probably can guess that I can use prayer for my attitude since I know it's not going to help dh if I'm a crabby beast. Also, please continue to pray for the medical care dh is receiving. I am really quite frustrated right now and I just don't know what else to do about. Thanks for all the prayers and support and I'll keep you posted.

Kate

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November 9, 2006

Thanks so much for all the prayers for my dh. Monday he gets an MRI. He talked to a different case worker today (who according to dh was kind of a jerk about things). Despite the jerkiness he approved dh for an MRI on Monday. Please pray that the MRI shows what's wrong with him and that they figure out the appropriate treatment.

The case worker read the specialist's report where it said to "return to duty and if it doesn't get better the next step would be to have an MRI" and was kind of rude about it and wanted to know why dh wasn't back in Iraq "on duty." Dh tried to explain that his job in Iraq requires him to do a lot of lifting and that he can't even lift dd in and out of the car without pain so he knows he won't be able to do his job in Iraq with his arm the way it is. Even after that the guy was still a little rude and just said that obviously dh is frustrated so they'll go ahead and to the MRI. Regardless of the attitude of the case worker we will hopefully have some answers soon.

Anyway, please keep praying that the MRI enables the docs to see what is wrong with dh. The specialist he saw while home thought there may be cartilage or ligament damage causing the pain and that sort of thing would only show up on a MRI.

I know there is a chance he'll be going back to Iraq and I'm okay with that as long as he is healed and can actually do the job he is supposed to be doing. I just pray they don't send him back prematurely and that he gets the treatment he needs to heal his wrist/arm.

Thanks again for the prayers and keep them coming!

kate

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So I just talked to my dh and his pass starts tomorrow morning! He had actually filled out paperwork for a Sat-Sun pass to come to Waukesha, WI with my college roommate and me to see my uncle in a play and then he found out everyone gets a 3-day pass for veteran's day.
The only problem is that the base he's at is 4+ hours from here and I really don't want to drive 8hrs in the car tomorrow and then another 8 Sat to WI and another 8 Sun home again. That's too much car time for me! DH asked his dad if he could get him from WI and the reply was "Can't Kate do it? I was going to go hunting tomorrow." This is the same man who complained that he didn't get to see dh enough when he was home for his 2 weeks of R&R.

Hopefully, they'll get the details all worked out otherwise I'll be driving down to get him tomorrow, kids in tow, which sounds less than fun to me! Let's see, retired man driving by himself vs. mom of 3 (4 and under) driving with kids... Which makes more sense to you?

Anyway, regardless of the details I get to see dh for a couple of days! Yeah!

Kate

So here's the latest... Dh has a friend with family in a town a little closer to the MN/WI border so dh is going to go with his guy in a couple of hours. His new "master plan" is for me to find someone to sit with the kids while I drive down tonight to get him! So I'm scrambling to figure something out and I don't even know if it will work. Grrr!
Oh, I just thought of something... dh's sister sometimes works in the cities M-Th and might be heading north tonight! I have to go have him call her and see if they could meet up somehow. I'll keep you posted!

So dh's sis was sick all week and isn't in the cities after all. I can't find anyone to watch the kids for me since they all work early in the morning and we wouldn't get back until really late. So after I log off here I'm loading us all up in the van to go get him ourselves. Dh's dad can't get him because he's going hunting in the morning. Instead his grandkids get to spend 6+ hours in the car tonight. But by all means, hunting is more important than anything else...
Sorry, I should be happy (and I am) I just really didn't plan on making a "family trip" at nearly 7pm tonight. talk to you all soon and please send up a few attitude prayers for me. Every ounce of my being (that was up until 2am last night and up at 7am this morning) wants to just tell dh to find someone else to take him. Someone without kids to worry about. But I love him and I need to get him if nobody else will. I just wish there were some other way to work things out that didn't involve me driving. *sigh*

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November 14, 2006

So dh is meeting with the doc (as I am typing) to see the results of his MRI. If the necessary treatment takes long enough that his deployment has less than 60 days in country left then his deployment will be cancelled and he'll stay stateside. If the treatment is shorter and his deployment has more than 60 days left in country then he will go back to Iraq.

Please pray that whatever the results show that I will be at peace with what the doctor says and what dh has to do. Selfishly I don't want him to go back, but I do know that the most important thing is that he gets the proper treatment for his injury. Pray also for my dh since I know he is hoping to get to stay stateside since that would mean being with the kids for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even if he has to be on some military base for treatment, he should get a pass to come home for the holidays. Please pray that he will be at peace with the results as well.

I'll keep you posted when I hear from him.

Thanks!
Kate

So I just got off the phone with dh. The doc he saw wants him to make an appointment to see the hand/wrist specialist on Dec 5 so he will be home for Thanksgiving! She said that the break looks like it is healing, but she can't determine what is causing the pain along his arm. She asked if he was injected with anything for his MRI (he wasn't) and then said something about possible cartilage damage or a possible tear. That's when she recommended seeing the specialist.
Thanks for the prayers. The not knowing for sure what will happen is really hard, but at least I know for now he's staying safe and having physical therapy to work toward strengthening his arm and healing his wrist.

His group is currently scheduled to leave Iraq mid-February. Dec 5 puts us so close to the 60-day cut-off. Please pray that whatever the specialist sees/recommends will keep him here that extra week or so and that he won't have to go back to Iraq. His job over there requires a lot of heavy lifting and I would hate for him to go over there and re-injure himself trying to do his job if he's not fully ready. I also think it would be stupid to send him over there for "light duty" if he can't fully perform his job. (however in my experience decisions made by the military aren't always the most intelligent... like say, when a soldier goes in with an injury saying "it's probably just a sprain" and giving motrin rather than taking an x-ray to check for broken bones then a month later taking an x-ray and seeing that "I guess there might be a break after all" sorry for the sarcasm, but I think in this case it's warranted!)
Anyway, thanks again for the prayers and keep them coming!

Kate

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November 18, 2006

So we read about a local church having a kids shopping day where they could buy gifts for $1 and have them wrapped and stuff. We decided to check it out and it was so cool!

They had a table set up when you walked in and the kids filled out shopping lists and labels. Then we paid for the number of names on the list. Then volunteers took the kids into a separate room where parents weren't allowed and they helped the kids pick out gifts for the people on the list and then wrapped them and brought them back out to us. There was a room with coffee and cookies for the parents to wait in.

it was so cute. ds2 was out first. He had dad, FIL and BIL (his favorite uncle who he just had to get something for ). Of course the first thing dh did was ask him what he got. Ds2 looked at dh with kind of a blank look in his eyes and said "i don't know." he is so silly. Then dh asked about each individual package and after much thought on each he said "Maybe screwdrivers" for BIL, "maybe digger gloves" for FIL and "maybe gloves" for dh. Who knows if that's really what he got or not.

ds1 took longer and when he came out and I asked what he got for my mom and my dad he knew right away. He picked a snowman for my mom and "a golf thing so Grandpa can golf on the floor" for my dad. I could tell he put a lot more thought in it than his brother did. (I'm glad he had my name) I asked him not to tell me what he picked for me so it would be a surprise, but he didn't listen and told me he got some perfume. then when we got home he wanted me to open it! I told him we had to wait until Christmas. he was a little bummed about that.

Anyway, it was just such a cool thing that I thought I should share. Do any of your area churches do anything like that?

Kate

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November 19, 2006

DH was home for the weekend and gets to come back on Wed night for Thanksgiving. The issue is that we only have one vehicle. I didn't feel like driving him there tonight and then going to get him again on Wed. There is no family housing available so we couldn't go stay with him for the next three days. Instead we decided he should take the van since it's only three days.

So of course I am now thinking that this will be the days my kids get sick and need to see a doctor or whatever other catastrophe may develop now that I have no means of transportation.

Please pray that nothing happens and that we survive without the van. Thanks!

(honestly, it's not that big of a deal since my folks are next door and will help out if needed, but I just don't want to have to deal with trying to juggle our schedules and all that if I don't need to. Really, I shouldn't even be worrying about this because I know it will all be fine. Of course I just have to worry about something. I told you this was kind of silly!)

Kate

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November 20, 2006

So of course after posting about me not having a car and the "silly" prayer requst that went with it I started feeling like I might have an ear infection in my left ear. Sure enough, this morning it was hurting like crazy so I had to go to the doc. Turns out it's a sinus infection and it's a good thing I went in because the doc said that it could take a couple of weeks for it to completely go away. I guess the "head cold" I've had the last few weeks was a lot more than that!
Thankfully my dad was home today and took the kids so I could use his truck.

I learned my lesson, though, no prayer is too small (or silly)!

Thanks for the prayers, I'm sure that's why dad didn't have anything going on today.

Kate

Thoughts...

Even as an adult I feel a strange sense to try to "protect" my little sister and it breaks my heart that this isn't possible.  Dru Sjodin was my sister's best friend.  I couldn't protect her from the evil in the world and all the hurt that was caused through the evil that is Alfonso Rodriguiez, Jr.  I still can't, and it frustrates me when I do something that ends up causing her pain even if it is indirectly.

The other day I shared a link on facebook to an article about AR.  A friend of my sister's had initially beeh the one to share it so I didn't even stop to think about whether or not my sister had read it or how she would handle it.  The next morning I saw a message from her and I could tell that reading that article had opened old wounds.  It hurt me to know that I had inadvertantly hurt her.

What's worse is the knowledge that this monster is still out there causing pain to those who knew and loved Dru.  The news article about his latest appeal both shocked and angered me.  There was a statement that he "didn't mean to kill Dru."  To me, that's a moot point.  He did it.  He was tried.  He was convicted.  He was sentenced.  And the time has come for that sentence to be carried out.  In my opinion the time is long overdue.

Being such a high profile case there is no way to stop worrying about when the next article will appear showing sympathy to a killer until the sentence is carried out and that killer is put to death.  Somehow the killer is trying to come across as the victim and there are some in society who are actually buying into that.  It makes me sick. We can't allow for Dru's voice to be drowned out by her killer's.  I am thankful for all the people out there working to make sure that doesn't happen.

Losing someone so tragically is something you can never truly recover from.  I am still haunted by my uncle's suicide over 15 years ago.  I cannot imagine how much worse it must be for those close to Dru.

12 years and counting...

It seems fitting to interrupt the posting of deployment threads following a group from October 2006.  Looking back, that's the only year of the past twelve that we were apart for our anniversary.  Honestly, that's not too shabby.  Most years we spend doing something simple like going out to dinner while my parents watch the kids.  On occasion, however, we are able to do something a bit more adventurous.  It is no surprise that those are some of my favorite memories.

October 16, 1999- The day that started it all.  I can't believe how crazy we were to get married while I was still in school.  Seriously.  I took a midterm Friday morning, loaded the car with a friend who would be lending her piano skills to the ceremony and headed north barely making it to the church in time for the rehearsal. It was a whirlwind weekend. 

Rehearsal Friday, wedding Saturday, gift opening Sunday, mini-honeymoon Monday, home to our apartment Tuesday, back to class on Wednesday  Did I mention we were a bit crazy?

Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better day.  Being a music person I programmed each song selection to have a special meaning for each moment it would be used.  I am certain this careful planning was lost on nearly every person in attendance, but it was one of the little details that made the day extra special for me.  I am so thankful that I was able to surprise Mike with singing "When You Say Nothing At All" to him.  I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it through without getting emotional, but his reaction of "What are you doing?  This isn't in the program!" when his brother handed me the mic helped lighten things up a bit and I was able to sing the entire song without shedding a tear.

October 2000- Our spontaneous trip to Bayfield, WI via Stillwater, MN  If you look at a map you will notice that travelling from central Minnesota to Bayfield, WI via Stillwater is not the most direct route.

We knew that we wanted to go antiquing in Stillwater for our first anniversary since that's one of the things we did on our honeymoon so that was the first stop of our adventure.  Somehow when Mike was talking to his parents on his cell phone that afternoon it was suggested we visit Bayfield.  Being the spontaneous people we are, we mapped out a route and headed to Wisconsin.

We took our time and stopped at every antique store along the way.  When we arrived in Bayfield we drove around until we found a bed and breakfast that had a room available.  The next morning we discovered that the innkeepers' son was a freshman at the same college my sister attended.  Small world.  We travelled along the shore of Lake Superior and met up with Mike's best friend, Tom and his wife Amanda in Duluth before heading home.

October 2006- He missed our anniversary by three days.  It was the first time I saw him since he deployed to Iraq that March.  Needless to say it was a very emotional time for us both.  I had a hard time understanding why he wanted to get home to the kids so soon when my parents were kind enough to take them so we could have some alone time.  It is definitely a bittersweet memory.  In retrospect, I do understand where he was coming from, but in the moment it was very difficult for me to manage.

October 2011- Another trip to Wisconsin.  This time to Pewaukee to attend a Steven Curtis Chapman concert.  My wonderful sister took all four kids for us for the weekend.  It was great.  I had forgotten how quiet a car ride can be.

We stopped at a few stores along the way, but mostly we just enjoyed each other's company and the freedom of a trip without cries of "how much longer till we get there?" or "I have to go to the bathroom!" or "(s)he won't stop bugging me!" from the back seats.  It was blissful.  Isn't it funny how something as simple as riding in the car alone together can make for a memorable anniversary?  I guess that's what having four kids does to a person.

I am so thankful to have been blessed with such a wonderful husband.  We have gone through so much over the years and managed to grow closer together where some couples with similar experiences grew more distant. Our marriage is something we both value and will continue to fight to keep strong.  I thank God for the way that He has blessed our marriage over the years.  He has rejoiced with us during the good times and carried us during the difficult ones. I know there is no way we could have survived the last twelve years without God in our lives.

I don't know what the future may hold, but I do know that no matter what it may be we will face it together.

Deployment: October 2006

Just FYI: dh=dear husband, ds1=dear son 1, ds2=dear son 2, dd=dear daughter, PTL=praise the Lord
Also, peoples' comments I included are in italics with the person's name in parenthesis

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October 15, 2006

So DH is scheduled to leave base A for base B today at about 4pm CST
Once he gets to base B there is some paperwork and stuff to do so he can leave for Kuwait and then from Kuwait he gets to come to the US!!!!

The problem is that there has been severe weather (mostly tunderstorms) the last couple of nights which have cancelled the flights out of base A. This means there's a waiting list for the flights today and he may not get to leave base A after all. This would push his leave back at least a day and completely mess up the plans we have made for people to watch the kids and all that fun stuff.

Please pray for good weather and enough room on the flights for all the guys to be able to leave tonight who need to.

Thanks so much!

Kate

So far so good. It's 2 hours past when he was supposed to leave and I haven't heard anything. I figure if he got stuck at base A he would have emailed or called to let me know he didn't get the flight.

Thanks for the prayers and I'll let you know when I hear from him again.

kate

I will meet him at either our local airport or the one in the cities. It will probably be just him since it's just R&R so it's not his whole unit coming. We are all very excited! The kids are staying with my folks/friends the first night. We're not even telling his family the exact day he's coming home so we can just enjoy the alone time.

I still haven't heard anything one way or the other. Hopefully he'll call before I go to bed tonight. Thanks for all the prayers!

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October 16, 2006

So I just got an email from dh and he made it to base B! WooHoo! He has his leave papers and is scheduled to leave for Kuwait 10/17 and for the US 10/18. He did say that the flights are a little backed up, but so far there haven't been any problems getting everyone who needs a flight on one.

Please pray that this continues to hold true and that he will actually be home on the 18th. I have childcare lined up for that night and a free hotel stay/dinner for two that I won so we can have one night alone to celebrate our anniversary/his homecoming before we actually head home to the craziness of three kids who haven't seen their daddy in over 6 mos. I am just getting so excited yet so nervous at the same time. KWIM? So I guess if you want to throw a couple of prayers up for my sanity's sake, too, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks again, everyone, for all your support. I really appreciate it!

Kate

More than a couple, Kate! Our whole Sunday School class is praying for you, the kids, your hubby, his wrist, everything! Hang in there, and if I don't "talk" to ya, have a wonderful time!!!! Oh, and don't spend a lot of time cleaning, he ain't gonna notice!    (dawnie)

I was just looking at my living room thinking about how much I still have to do before he gets home. Thanks for that comment. It made me cry, but not in a bad way.   More because it's something I needed to hear to help me be less stressed about things. Thanks for that.

Thanks everyone for all the prayers and support. as always, it means a lot to me.

More than a couple, Kate! Our whole Sunday School class is praying for you, the kids, your hubby, his wrist, everything! Hang in there, and if I don't "talk" to ya, have a wonderful time!!!! Oh, and don't spend a lot of time cleaning, he ain't gonna notice!  

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October 17, 2006

I just got off the phone with dh and he said that it looks like he may not get to come home until Friday. I know that's only two days later, but it totally messes up everything we have planned. Please pray that by some miracle he's able to get a flight today and that he'll still be able to get home on Wed as scheduled. It's just really hard thinking that I may have to wait even two extra days. It's already been nearly 7 months since I last saw him.

Please pray, too, that I don't take my anger and frustration at the situation out on him. I am trying so hard not to, but I don't know where to direct all these negative feelings I'm having right now. I just need to "blame" something and there's nothing concrete for me to blame.

Thanks everyone. Your support really means a lot to me.

Kate

Dear Kate, I am so sorry things are looking like they will take longer. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

The moment I read your post, however, I immediately thought of God's promise to us that "ALL things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."
However difficult it may be the next couple days, remember that God loves you and has a plan. If your husband is a couple days later it may be that he s being diverted from some tregety we will never know about because God removed him from it.

Trust God to know and do what is best. After all, He loves each of you infinitely more than you can ever love each other.

Praying God's peace for you. (janet/4arrows)

I just got off the phone with dh and he is scheduled to fly out at 12pm CST TODAY!!!! Please pray that the flight goes as scheduled. I don't know how they managed to get him on that flight (well, actually I have a feeling there may have been a little divine intervention), but they did and if all goes well he should be home Wed or Thurs which means we'd still be able to use the free hotel stay (it's a sun-thurs only thing) the first night he's home.

as for the party... my SIL decided potluck would be easiest for all of us so we divided up the food and we're having it at FIL house and all I have to do is make a crock pot of sloppy joes and show up with my family. Major stress relief there!

Thank you so much for all your concern and prayers. Keep 'em coming!

Kate

Janet- thank you so much for your insight. My first thought was "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Then came "Be still and know that I am God." Both are verses that remind me to quit focusing on me and any issues I may have because God is so much larger than anything that may come my way.

It is so nice to have another perspective on the situation with another verse to think of. Even though things seem to be going "as planned" right now, I also need to remember that in the big scheme of things God's plan may not match up with mine.

Sometimes I think God uses things like this to remind me that I'm not in control (no matter how hard that is for me to remember). Dh will be home in God's time. Of course I can hope and pray that it will be sooner rather than later, but ultimitely, God is in control.

Thank you again to everyone. I really can't say it enough. The support I have recieved here during the last 6.5 mos has been amazing and has really helped make this deployment a little easier for me. You are all wonderful women and I feel blessed to have met you.

Kate

DH is in Kuwait!!!!! I just talked to him and he flies out tomorrow night so he arrives in the US Thursday morning.

The original hotel plan won't work because the hotel is booked Thursday night. There is a plan B to swap hotel gift certificates with my folks and try another hotel (I gave them a jacuzzi stay at a local hotel for their anniversary earlier this month). I'm still a little bummed about that, but if it doesn't work the first night, people have offered to take the kids a different night so we can get away. That will just be harder on the kids since Dad will be leaving them for a night rather than them not knowing he's back yet.

We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Thanks again for all the prayers!Kate

So he gets to the states at 8:30 am but has a 4 hour layover in Atlanta so won't get to MSP until 2pm. I just checked online and there are two earlier flights with open seats. One arrives in MSP at 11am, the other at 12pm. He is going to try to get an earlier flight once he gets to the US.

As for the hotel, the one for my parents' gift certificate had a room free so we do get to do the hotel thing!

Now I get to relax and finish getting the house in order (well as much order as I can with 3 little ones running around).

Thanks again for all the prayers!

Kate

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October 18, 2006

Here's to my last night of...

sleeping alone for two whole weeks!!!! Dh will be home tomorrow!

Time to get some much needed beauty rest.

Hopefully I'll have time to pop in and let you know when I head to the airport tomorrow, but if not, thanks again for all the prayers and support!

Kate

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October 19, 2006

I'm off to the airport (FINALLY!!!)

So after a day filled with ups and downs and delays of all sorts I finally get to go get my dh! He was able to get a flight into an airport only about 1/2 hour from where we live so we won't have to fight rush hour traffic in the "big city." (this is after his initial flight into the "big city" was pushed back a couple of hours)

I am going to go check into our hotel, change into my new dress and then I'm off!

I may be in here and there over the next couple of weeks, but if not, try not to miss me too much! 

Thanks again for all the support!

Kate

Deployment: September 2006

Just FYI: dh=dear husband, ds1=dear son 1, ds2=dear son 2, dd=dear daughter, PTL=praise the Lord
Also, peoples' comments I included are in italics with the person's name in parenthesis

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September 13, 2006

I wanna cry… no particular reason, I just wanna!

So maybe it's that time of the month
or maybe the cold/allergies I (still haven't figured out which)
or maybe 2 of my kids peeing through their diapers last night/this morning (one in MY bed) leading to extra loads of laundry
or maybe the disasterousness of my house when I have a piano tuner coming this afternoon
or maybe it's the fact that ds1 was goofing around at lunch and spilled milk on a fresh tablecloth
or maybe it's because the spilt milk caused us to be late getting ds1 to preschool
or maybe it's ds2 screaming like a banshee because he wants to go to preschool, too but can't because he's not toilet trained yet (you'd think that would be a motivator, but it's not)
or maybe it's because dh always calls at the worst moments possible (running late for preschool is a great example)
or maybe it's because dh hasn't been able to call after the kids are in bed like he usually does so I haven't had an uninterrupted phone call from him in days
or maybe because dh just told me the exact dates of his leave and he'll miss our anniversary by one day
or maybe it's because the Marines dh's company is stationed with/attached to get to go home in February, but dh thinks the NG will just ship his company somewhere to sit on their butts until everyone else they're deployed with get to go home, too (a month or so later)
or maybe it's because the owner of the yarn store I stopped at on the way home from bringing ds1 to preschool wasn't in so I couldn't order the pattern books I wanted
or maybe it's because I just found out that the girl who babysits for me didn't quit her summer job afterall and is still working weekends so I won't be able to go out to dinner with my mom and sister Friday night after all
or maybe it's because I'm sitting here thinking about all the reasons I want to cry when I really should be upstairs getting ready for the piano tuner

There, I feel better now. Feel free to add your reasons to the list. It really is therapeutic! Misery loves company, right? That way we can wallow together. *heavy sigh* now back to work.

HI HO, HI HO, it's off to work I go. To clean some junk before I'm sunk. HI HO, HI HO...

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September 14, 2006

*update* I wanna cry!

I just wanted to share with you all that I have the best mom in the entire universe. Really, I know each of you may disagree with me, but seriously, mine is really the best.

So one of my "cry" reasons in my pity party yesterday was that my babysitter has to work weekends now so I wouldn't get to go out to dinner Friday night with my sister and my mom and a couple of friends. If I had more notice I would definitely try to find another sitter, but I need to have her come over when I'm home and see how she is with the kids before I'd be comfortable leaving her alone with them. KWIM? So I just resigned myself to staying home and having them bring me leftovers and dessert. I was okay with that, really. (at least I told myself I was)

Well, anyway, my mom talked to my sister and they decided that I needed the night out more than my mom does so she is watching my kids for me so I can go out tomorrow night. I'm so happy I could cry. Well, now that I'm writing it I am tearing up a little. See what I mean that my mom is the best? I didn't even tell her the stuff on my list and she could just tell that I needed a break. I know I said that my mom is the best, but I really hope all you gals have moms who do cool stuff like that for you, too.
Oh, and I did get the upstairs of my house clean for the piano tuner and my piano is fabulous! (I have played it more in the last 24 hours than I have in the last 6 mos) Between my piano and my awesome mom today has been so great compared to yesterday.

Thanks for all the kind words and for joining in my "party" yesterday. Misery really does love company, but so does happiness so I guess I'd just have to say that I love company in general.

Oh, and dh will be home 1 month from Sunday!!!! WOOHOO!!!! *doing the happy dance* Okay, on that happy note I should be off to bed. I have to clean my house for my mom coming over tomorrow night!

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September 15, 2006

So I talked to my dh this morning and he told me about a month ago he broke up a fight between two guys and hurt his wrist. When he had it checked out they said it was just sprained. It's never gotten any better so he had it checked out again (yesterday?) and they took an x-ray and it's broken and he'll have to have surgery. He'll talk to his commander later today to find out what that means. The only thing it hinders is his lifting so he doesn't know if he'll be sent home or not. He's the only guy who can do his job so he's not looking forward to training someone in the event he does get sent home. (I don't see the issue there- training someone to do your job so you can come home early doesn't seem like a big issue to me)
Of course I am immediately hoping that it's bad enough for him to be sent home for good.   I know that's bad of me, but I'm human and I miss my husband! I mean it has to be bad if he needs surgery and with his day-job being in law enforcement I would hate for him to injure his wrist so badly that he wouldn't be able to be a deputy anymore. It's just not worth it! Oh, his other reason for not wanting to be sent home is that if he re-enlists over there he gets a bonus tax-free. Yes, that's a benefit, but maybe this is a sign that he's not meant to re-enlist after all. It would be absolutely stupid for him to risk doing permanant damage just to get a tax break.

Anyway, please pray for the situation all around. Of course I now have my hopes up and I know I shouldn't. I am also worried that this will mess with his leave. *sigh* I just don't know what to think about all this.

Thanks for all your support. I really appreciate it!

Kate

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So I just had a conversation with dh that began with "I have some good news and some bad news..." Here's the deal as of right now. There are two options. 1. he goes to Baghdad to a specialist and then to Germany for surgery and then to the US for therapy and his deployment is over. 2. he gets a cast put on and has surgery when the deployment is over in March. Obviously since he needs to be able to use both his wrists in his law enforcement job waiting isn't really an option since things could easily get much worse. So the "good news" is that it looks like his deployment will be ending early. *doing a happy dance and hoping it's not premature*

The "bad news" part was that he thinks his leave will be cancelled so he won't be home in October after all. I know the boys will be bummed (especially ds1 who keeps asking if daddy will be home for "pumpkin day"), but at the same time if he gets to come home for good sooner then that's a better deal anyway. I had actually been worried about how the kids would react to daddy leaving again after his leave so as much as I want to see him, I think I can handle waiting a little while longer if I have to.
The only thing he said that may be an issue is that so far the guys who have been sent back to the US have been sent to Georgia for their physical therapy and then given two weeks leave to go home and then had to return to Georgia. He is hoping that he will be able to go to a VA clinic in Minnesota for his therapy, but there's no gaurantee there. I just don't know what to think. It would be so hard to have him in the states and not have him home with us, you know?

Anyway, thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming! I really appreciate it.

Kate

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September 16, 2006

*WARNING MAJOR VENT TO FOLLOW*

So can I just say that they must have the most incompetent doctors serving in our military?!?!?! I just got off the phone with my dh and now he's being told that it's just torn ligaments so they're putting a cast on and waiting to see it if better after he comes home for leave. How in the world can it go from being a "bad sprain" a month ago to yesterday being broken so badly he needed surgery and now it's just torn ligaments?

I don't get it. I mean the doctor yesterday is the one who told dh's commander how bad it was and that he needed to get out of there and have it taken care of ASAP. It was the commander who told dh and then of course dh told me.

This emotional rollercoaster ride just has to stop! I am so sick and tired of not knowing what is exactly going on and whether or not they have it right this time. This is my husband for crying out loud how do they know they have it right this time? What if he really does need surgery and now it's going to get worse?
I am so shocked and angry and emotional and I haven't cried this hard in months. I never would have thought anything of it had the information not come from dh's COMMANDER yesterday. Of course now I'm thinking it's just a conspiracy to not have to find someone to fill dh's position since dh is actually a fill-in for another guy who got injured and was sent home.

Anyway, I'm just at a loss for even what to do. So at least he'll be home in October as planned and I don't give a darn whether or not the military approves it, but I will be taking him to a local doctor to get checked out. I mean if 3-4 doctors over there looked at him and all of them got a different diagnosis I don't know what is going on over there. I hate that he is being cared for by people who obviously don't really know what they're doing. Yes, people make mistakes, but this is HUGE! I just don't see how it can go from so bad to not so bad overnight.

Sorry for the long vent. I just needed to get it all out so I can actually function today. They boys are already concerned about me. "Why are you sad, Mommy?" I don't even know what to tell them.

Thanks for your prayers and support. My kids need me so I have to get going.

Kate

**********

Thanks everyone. I emailed dh's 1st SGT earlier today and I just got a response. He didn't have an explanation for all the changes in the diagnosis, but he did say that he would trust the medics there and they are all actual doctors and not PAs and if anything looks like it's not going right he will personally drag my dh to the helicopter and put his butt on it to go get checked out by some specialist. Hearing that does help me feel better about the treatment he is getting. The 1st SGT is a firefighter and a father of 4 so I do believe that he understands how much I need to make sure dh is being treated appropriately so there is no permanent damage. I guess dh is in a soft cast and on light duty and if he doesn't follow orders and tries to do too much the 1st SGT promised me that he'd take dh off duty completely and I believe him.

Since he's National Guard and not active Army I have no idea how things work for seeing a civillian doctor or whatever. I am definitely going to have him checked out by a local doctor when he's home in October. Something just doesn't seem right about the people examining dh over there, even if the 1st SGT says differently.
I'm just still reeling from all that I have been told in the last 24 hours or so and I'm trying to make sense of it all and nothing seems to make any sense at all. I can't understand why I would be told something that got my hopes up about dh coming home early (coming from the Commander so I thought it was pretty legit!) only to be slapped in the face like this and told oops, we made a mistake, sorry. I'm sorry, but that's not good enough for me.

On the bright side, dh will be home on leave one month from tomorrow. I just need to focus on that and stop feeling so sorry for myself that things aren't working out the way I thought they would when I first heard he needed surgery and was being sent home early. There's nothing I can do about any of it and it doesn't do me or my kids any good to mope around the house all day. I think I'll go play my piano for a while. That usually helps.

Thank you again for all your support. I love that I can "talk" to all of you and still get the words out even though I'm crying. That's the nice thing about typing. You don't have to actually be able to talk.  honestly, I don't know what I would do without the support I have gotten from you women. Thank you doesn't even begin to cover it.

Oh, Kate.....Bummer! I was just going to reply to your email and tell you I was gald you were doing better....and then I read this! I am so sorry for all this pain and confusion! I know it is hard with the kids...when they go to bed, just go sit in the tub and cry! That's what I do when hubby is gone and things just get to be too much. It helps. I hope that your church can be a real, physical help and support for you tomorrow, and there is always your nicely tuned piano! I will be saying extra prayers for you and your family tonight, and have our Sunday school class praying for you guys too! {{{{{MORE HUGS}}}}} Hang in there!

Oh, and BTW, Holland is pretty close to me, and Grandville is even closer! (dawnie)

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September 17, 2006

Doing the happy dance, care to join me?

So after yesterday's major drama/issues I decided I could use a happy dance for various reasons...

If all goes as currently scheduled (which I won't hold my breath since this IS the military)...

DH will be home for R&R 1 MONTH FROM TODAY!!!!!! *dancing for joy*Also, I want to do a happy dance for/with all my MOPS friends who have been so supportive of me during this deployment. Thanks and a big group hug to/with all of you! The drama of military life is something I could never have predicted. Since dh is National Guard and not active duty I had no clue the issues that may come up. It really means a lot to be able to come and post about my joys and struggles and find so many caring women willing to share with what's going on in my life.

*dancing for joy with my MOPS buddies*

((((((((big group hug))))))))


Of course we need to do one more happy dance for Cheryl who's dh will be home even sooner than mine! (for good, may I add )

*dancing for joy for Cheryl*

Thanks again for dancing with me and let the countdown begin!!!Kate

PS Cheryl- When I told dh about your dh's experience with Navy doctors he laughed and said the doctors he's seeing are actually Navy doctors! I guess the Marines he's stationed with don't have their own doctors so they use Navy guys. Doesn't make much sense to me, but I'm finding that very little about the military really makes sense to the average citizen who has any sense of logic whatsoever.

Deployment: July/August 2006

Just FYI:  dh=dear husband, ds1=dear son 1, ds2=dear son 2, dd=dear daughter, PTL=praise the Lord
Also, peoples' comments I included are in italics with the person's name in parenthesis

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July 9, 2006

(one of the many reasons I love him)

here's an excerpt from an email I got from dh. yes, he is referring to our children as "nasties" and "monsters" but he had just spoken to me on the phone and heard first hand the craziness that was occurring (the boys really were acting like nasty little monsters!) and he also heard how I was getting frazzled with them and the day had barely started (it was around 7am when he called me). so this is the email he sent me after we got off the phone.

"Anyways just wanted to tell you that I love you and Im glad that I have you as a wife. I couldnt ask for a better woman,wife, lover and mother of my children even though you just kicked the little nasties out of bed for fighting.hehehehehehe. I love you and have a good day with the monsters."

Somehow that changed my mood for the day and even from another country I fell in love with him all over again. I am so lucky to be married to a man like him. I just can't wait until he comes home.

Kate

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July 20, 2006

it’s going to be one of those days…

I can already tell. Today is going to be not so good. I know, I know, I need to do the attitude adjustment thing, but seriously. I was up until 11:30 waiting for dh to call. Sure enough he waited until I shut the light off and went to bed. That was at 11:45. Then we could only talk for 4-5 minutes because he forgot his phone card. So most of the conversation was an explanation of what he was doing that made him forget his phone card.

So ds1 slept with me last night because it was "sleepover night." That's all well and good except ds2 comes down to my room around 5:30 or 6:00 this morning and starts picking fights with ds1. While I'm dealing with all the racket and trying to eek out another few minutes of sleep, the phone rings. It's dh. At 6:45am. So our conversation this morning revolved around an inquisition about money, "why our children act the way they do?" and how he can't hear anything.

First, if he put me in charge of the money situation even before he left for Iraq, why on earth does he feel the need to give me the third degree about it? Especially at 6:45am. Especially when I've laready told him that I HATE talking about money with him on the phone when we only have a limited time to talk. Second, why does he have to ask about the kids' behavior as though it's a big mystery that I have the answer to. Don't you think that if I knew why the kids were being rotten this morning I would have done something about it? Finally, like I could hear anything either. Good grief.

I am so tired of not being able to talk to him when he calls during the day because of the kids and I don't know what to do about it. The boys are 4 and almost 3. I don't have a doorknob on my bedroom so locking them out isn't an option right now.

Okay, breathe. Just breathe. I can do it. I just need to go snuggle with dd for a little while and remind myself that at least I'm not completely surrounded by kids who love to push my buttons. At least my baby girl is still mostly sweet and innocent.

Okay, I feel better now. Time to go face the day. (and release the boys from their rooms where they've been sitting on time-out while I got myself back together). Man, I wish this deployment were over already.

Kate

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July 20, 2006

dd knows daddy! (at least kind of)

So we were looking at photos today and dd was babbling as usual. I pointed to myself and said "mama" and she copied me. Then I pointed to dh and said "dada" and she copied me. We did that with a few pictures and then I said "where's daddy" and she pointed right to him. Twice! (I stopped after two)

Dh will be so happy when I tell him tonight. He is so concerned that she won't know him when he gets back and although this may not "prove" anything she did point to him. Twice! After the way today started out, this is so wonderful! I can't wait for dh to call!

Kate

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August 12, 2006

Here's part of an email from my dh from this afternoon...

"We had some action in our area. I cant get into details on it but maybe later."

Obviously I know he's okay, but other than that I don't know anything. Please pray for the guys stationed with him and their families. You never know what "some action" means. In the last four months the area he's in has only had a few minor roadside bomb incidents. Nothing severe and no deaths. (PTL!) Please pray that's still the case.

Thanks so much!

Kate

Thanks for all the prayers! Here's part of the latest email from him:
"Everything is okay. ONe of our pumphouses came under attack. 2 guys were hurt but are going to be okay. I believe all of the insurgents are dead. Thats what was going on. Im okay and I wanted to go help but then reality sets in and I think of you and the kids. Its more important for me to get home to you guys in one peace than getting into action."

I am so glad that he decided to stay in the arms room rather than go out and help. (I'm not sure if his 1st Sgt would have let him go anyway) I'm sure it gets boring for him just issuing weapons and such, but that's where he's needed and it also helps keep him safe.

Last week he told me he'd be leaving Iraq sometime in February but then a couple of days ago he was told not to count on that because they may end up over there longer. I just keep praying that he'll be home for my birthday in March. We'll have to wait and see what happens.

Thank you again everyone.

Kate

When did your DH first deploy? Is your birthday past the one-year mark? I'll be praying that he'll be home for your birthday in March! My birthday is coming up in a few days, and as much as we're not very holiday/celebrating people, it's still sad that he won't be here for it. I know how you feel. I'm so glad yours will be home soon for R&R!!!!!
I just looked at your ticker in your signature, and it looks like your DH will be home for R&R at almost exactly the same time that my DH comes home. How wild is that? We're going to be some giddy girls come mid-October... (cheryl)

Going by his deployment date for "training" in Mississippi (I use the "" because he said most of it was a joke and totally useless even though he had to be there for over 4 months) he was deployed November 1, 2005. He left for Kuwait March 27, 2006. I don't know for sure when he left Kuwait for Iraq. My birthday is March 24. He was home for his mom's funeral in March and left to go back to MS the 20th so he missed it this year.

Since he was a "fill-in" and isn't with the unit he usually drills with, some of the guys he's with were deployed September 1, 2005 for training. All of them left for Kuwait within a week or so of eachother, though. They are all on an 18-month deployment (total) and are only supposed to spend 12 mos of that in country. We'll see.

It's just hard because a group he used to drill with was deployed two years ago this October. They spent about 1 1/2 mos training stateside before they went overseas and they were home before Christmas 2005. I just don't understand the lack of consistency within the National Guard (maybe the military in general). It's just really frustrating.
Maybe I'm crabby because a lady at church said something stupid that I should just ignore, but being human (and PMS-ing) I can't. When she heard dh may be gone longer she asked how long he's been gone and I said since November but only in Iraq since March. She said "Well, that's not so bad. At least he hasn't been in that heat all this time. " I know it wasn't meant to downplay my situation, but I can't help being a little ticked by it since, yeah, I think it is "so bad" for my dh to be away from his kids for so long. I know we've had a million threads about the stupidity of people who speak before they think and I'll just chalk this up as one of those times, but I still had to just walk away from her after that comment to keep from saying something I'd regret.

Sorry this ended up as a kinda long vent when I started just answering a question. Oh well. Thanks again for all the prayers and such, I really appreciate it. The Our Daily Bread devotional had a couple that seemed to be put in there just for me these last two days. I'm sure it's just a coincidence but it really has helped me to focus on God and what He's doing with all this rather than on myself and how miserable I am without my dh.

Thanks again!

Kate

PS Cheryl, you're right... October can't come soon enough!

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August 19, 2006

"I did get a piece of shrapnel from that one."

Here it is in context:

"The next day I went out again with a different patrol. Again we were rolling along and the lead vehicle called back and told everyone to halt. They told us they had just rolled over(tires did not hit anything) what looked liked two wires protruding out of the ground. One guy walked up for a closer look and it appeared that something was buried. EOD came out and set it off. They believe it was a pressured detonated IED. I did get a piece of shrapnel from that one."
This is from an "update" email my dh sent out to the people in his addressbook. What do you think he means by that sentence? I'll wait and give my take after I get a few responses. I don't want to involuntarily influence anyone's response.

Thanks!

Kate

So because I just realized it's 1:20am and I know my little darlings will be waking me up in a few short hours I am going to go ahead and reply and then head off to bed.

Since I figure I already know everything in the "update" emails since we talk on the phone regularily, I just skim them to see what he's telling people so if anyone asks I can give them the shortened version of the email he sent out.

That sentence jumped out at me and I was instantly so worried about him and so irritated with him for not telling me about it that I started emailing him this terrible email and then I reread the sentence in context and I got a different interpretation so I had to rewrite my email. (thank goodness I didn't send the first one!)

He really needs to watch how he words things because I know reading that he got shrapnel and thinking that meant "got hit" scared me half to death and made me so mad that he would nonchalantly mention it in a group email and not to me on the phone. Sometimes I wonder about him! I did mention that he may want to send out an email clarifying what he meant just in case some people think he got hit.
I'm interested to see what anyone else has to say, but I'm so darn tired I'll have to wait until morning. Night all!

Thanks everyone. It's good to know that I'm not just a paranoid wife who over-reacted when I skimmed through that email. I did ask him to call me in the email I sent him and he did (thankfully because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to sleep!). Yes, he just got a souviner, but he could understand how it may have been confusing with how it was worded. Especially when taken out of context.

I have actually had people on his email list talk to me about some of the stuff he puts in there and how strange they think it is that he's so nonchalant about it. I think maybe because he's a deputy and a lot of the people on the list are from the Sheriff's department that he doesn't really think anything of it. I just hate having to be the one deflecting the questions about stuff like that when I only know about as many details as they do.

One of the first times he went out on a patrol he didn't tell me about it because "he didn't want me to worry" and he didn't send me the "update" email that he told people about it. My parents are on his email list, though, so imagine how great I felt when my mom started talking to me about it and I didn't have a clue about any of it.

Thanks again for confirming that I'm not a complete freak for initially reacting how I did. Part of it is that he uses abbreviations that the average civillian doesn't know. I don't know what EOD is I assumed they were the equivalent of the bomb squad, but I don't know for sure. Anyway, time to tend to my kids. Thanks again for the responses!

Kate

*UPDATE* (august 21)

So I got an email from dh today letting me know that he's had to email at least three people who thought he had been hurt by the shrapnel from the sentence in question. I just got off the phone with him and he let me know that at least four more people had emailed him asking how he was doing after being hit. He said he's going to have to send out an email to everyone and let them know he's okay. DUH!

I told him to do that when I first emailed him! I figure if I, his wife who's known him over nine years and who he talks to almost every day, had a hard time understanding what he meant then there would definitely be others who were also misunderstanding the intent of that sentence. I guess he just had to figure it out for himself since he must have thought I was just being a paranoid freak or something. Silly boy! Maybe someday he'll learn how wise women can be in situations like this.