December 6, 2006
I just got off the phone with dh and he asked if he could call me back
because he was heading into a meeting with the colonel and the case worker to
decide what's going to happen to him. Please, please pray that they make the
best decision for my dh.
He needs 6 weeks of physical therapy according to the specialist and
yesterday he was told they may send him back to Iraq and have him do the
therapy over there. Please pray that doesn't happen. I just can't imagine a war
zone being the best place to recover from an injury.
Thanks and I'll update when I hear from him again.
Kate
So here's the deal. Because the doc said
he's just under 100% as far as returning to where he was before he was injured
it's okay for him to return to duty. As for physical therapy, he can do the
excercises on his own so he won't actually need a physical therapist working
with him. This means they'll be sending him back unless for some strange reason
his unit doesn't need/want him back. I asked for a timeframe and he said he has
funeral detail next week for one of the soldiers who was killed from his unit
and then after that it's just a matter of when they could get him a flight out.
I knew this was a possibility, but I wanted to badly for him to stay
home. I just don't understand how if he's still experiencing pain whether
tendonitis or whatever that they are okay with sending him back into a war
zone. Even though Christmas is a couple of weeks away it looks like that
doesn't matter and they'll just send him back as soon as they get the okay from
his unit.
Thanks for all your prayers and support. I am still praying like crazy
that his unit won't want him to come back. No matter what I just need to
prepare myself for the fact that despite what I think is the most logical thing
to do in this situation, the army doesn't do things "locigally."
(maybe that's why I never joined)
Well, my dd needsd a nap and I have to clean up the house before piano
lessons tonight. I just wanted to post an update.
Kate
Right now dh is scheduled to fly back to
Iraq Dec 15. If he can't get a flight that day he'll fly out on the 18th.
Either way he won't be here for Christmas. I am so frustrated that he couldn't
stay just an extra week since he's here anyway, but of course we have no say in
the matter and they don't care that we have three little kids who will be so
sad to have daddy leave, especially right before Christmas.
He comes home Saturday to get his stuff for the funeral detail Tues/Wed
so I'm planning on getting all the presents and stuff together and doing our
own little family Christmas one of the days he's home. He has to be back at WI
by midnight on Thursday, so hopefully we'll be able to figure out something during
the short time he gets to be home with us.
Thanks, everyone for all your prayers. You never know if there will be a
big storm or something and he'll get stuck in the states for a few extra days
or something. Anything's possible, right? If that happens we'll just be lucky
enough to have two Christmases this year.
Kate
*************************
Praise you in this storm
So after posting my update about dh I
started thinking and decided that I needed to post again. Despite the fact that
I am disappointed right now about how things are probably going to turn out I
really have so much to be thankful and praise God for.
*Even though it means probably going back to Iraq, dh's wrist is almost
completely healed and he didn't need surgery to fix it.
*He has been in the states nearly a month past the date he was supposed
to return to Iraq and I have seen him every weekend since he left for WI the
beginning of November.
*I get to see him this weekend when he comes home to get his class A's
for the funeral detail.
*I know that as hard as it is going to be to see him go again, God is in
control of everything and no matter what happens I can count on Him to be by my
side (or carrying me) every step of the way.
*I know that everything my family has gone through with this deployment
is going to be used by God in one way or another.
I know in my heart that all thing work together for the good of the Lord
and although I don't understand why things are going the way they are right now
I just need to trust in Him and His promises.
Thanks so much for all your support and your prayers. I am still
clinging to the shred of hope that they won't want him back, but I am prepared
to face the reality of him leaving again if that is God's plan for us. It's
amazing how much truth there is in the verse "I can do ALL things through
Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13 Any strength I may be showing
right now comes directly from my Lord and Saviour and I thank Him so much for
never leaving me to fend for myself. I know I could never do it alone.
Kate
Yes, I have heard that song. I have the
Casting Crowns CD that it's on. The chorus of that song is what was running
through my head when I was feeling sorry for myself earlier and decided that in
everything I need to give praise to God no matter how rotten I think things are
or how frustrating and unfair things seem. I'm not in charge of anything other
than how I choose to react to the situation I am in. I guess that's why I felt
convicted to start this thread.
Thank you all for your kind words. Any of you who read my "getting
to know you" thread know how far I've come from 10 years ago when I hit
rock bottom in my walk. Thanks, JavaJayne for pointing that out again. I guess
I'm doing better than I thought I was. There is no way I could have written a
post like this if I was still in the place I was back then.
One more thing that I thought of that is good about dh going back is the
plan my dad had to surprise him by building a master bedroom addition to our
house before he comes back for good. Right now our room is so tiny and if we
have another kid it will be even more squishy around here. That would be a
really great surprise for him and something for me to be a part of in order to
take my mind off things.
Kate, I too am so
proud of you for this post! And don't forget, God has a plan in this for YOU
too! Just look at how many of US here you and your story have touched, and by
touching, changed! You may not know in this life, but I expect there will be at
least a few in heaven who tell you just how much God has used you through your
trial. Hang in there, and keep hanging on Him! Love ya! (dawnie)
************************
So when I logged on tonight and saw the
scripture thread for me and anyone else having a rough time right now it
brought tears to my eyes. I think this is the first time I have ever cried from
just reading the subject of a post.
I just wanted to say thank you. Really, I am so glad that last March
after dh left I sent an email to MOPS, International asking for resources for
wives of depolyed soldiers. The response I got directed me to these forums.
I don't know if you ladies understand just how much easier you have made
these last nine months for me. If it's not support through prayer and scripture
and advice and hugs it's sharing a silly story that makes me laugh and
brightens my day or posting something on the eyeroll thread that I can totally
relate to.
Thank you so very, very much for being here for me. I know my nights
would have been a lot lonelier without you guys to spend them with. Thanks
again!
(((((((hugs)))))))
Kate
**************
December 12, 2006
Today is just being a really hard day. I
found out a few minutes ago that dh is supposed to fly out to Iraq this Friday
so we won't get to see him this weekend after all. He's kind of home for a
couple of days, but he's gone during the day for the funerals of the two guys
from his company who were killed a couple of weeks ago. He hasn't seen the kids
much and we were really looking forward to just spending the weekend together
as a family before they sent him back. Dh asked if there was any way to push it
back to Monday instead and the guy told him no, they already had the flights
booked. Seriously, this is the 21st century and switching flight schedules
isn't as difficult as rocket science or brain surgery or anything!
Anyway, I am having a really hard time holding myself together and the
kids are asking me why I'm sad and they are too little to understand anything
that's going on and I just don't want to do anything other than curl up on the
couch and cry my eyes out.
I am going to email dh's captain here in MN and see if there's anything
she can do. I'm sure I'll just get the response "that's the military"
which is the most infuriating thing I have ever heard in all my life and I am
so sick and tired of them using that as an excuse for how they do things I
could just puke!
Anyway, please pray for me. That I will be strong for my family
regardless of when dh goes back and that I will make it through the holidays
with minimal time curled up on the couch feeling sorry for myself.
I just don't understand how they can medically clear someone who is
still experiencing pain and who still needs physical therapy and send him back
into a war zone, especially when there's no physical therapist at his base! I
am so concerned that he won't get the therapy that he needs and then in March
when he comes home for good he'll be stuck in WI finishing the therapy they
should have taken care of right now!
Thanks for all your support and everything. I really do appreciate it.
kate
************
December 13, 2006
I feel like a total prayer piggy, but I
don't know what to do other than ask for more prayer.
I just spent the last hour laying in bed sobbing my eyes out because dh
is definitely leaving to go back to Iraq Friday morning at 5am. He has to be
back in WI by midnight Thursday so that means today is our last day/night
together until he comes back for good in March.
I know this is God's will at least I keep telling myself that it is that
that it has to be and that even if I don't understand it right now there is a
reason for this and someday I will see what it is. It's just hard to make my
heart understand what I know in my mind to be true.
It's far easier to just curl up in the fetal position and think about
how much life sucks right now and just cry my eyes out. Problem is that I have
a family to consider, not just me. I actually made my dh cry because I was so
upset and I feel terrible about that. I think that's only the third time in our
nearly 10 years together that I saw him cry and it was because of me. I hate
that and I hate feeling like this.
It doesn't help that ds2 was screaming about wanting his daddy and told
me he wanted me to leave instead. That's what started the cryfest. I know he's
only 3 and he didn't really mean it, but if this is what I have to look forward
to for the next three months then I don't know what I'm going to do.
Please pray that I can focus on being strong for my dh and that I got
all the tears out of my system (at least for now) and that we can focus on the
positive for the rest of the day. Anyway, I have to get going. Thanks for the
prayers and support as always.
Kate
*****************
December 15, 2006
I just wanted to let you know how much I
appreciate all the thoughts and prayers that have been sent up for me and my
family the last couple of days. I just got home from taking dh to meet his ride
back to WI. He leaves on his journey back to Iraq at 5:30 tomorrow morning.
I have had such a hard time with this even though I knew it was a
possibility and I know your prayers have helped me survive the last couple of
days.
I posted yesterday about how rotten I was feeling and I just have to say
that after I posted I did start feeling better. I'm sure it's the sharing the
burden thing and I thank you all for sharing this burden with me.
I also wanted to share something really cool that happened last night as
I was laying in bed with dh. We were laying with his arms around me
"spooning" and he was really quiet so I asked him what he was
thinking. He said he wasn't thinking, he was praying. I asked him if he would
pray out loud so we could pray together and then for the first time in about 6
years or so, we prayed together. It was so amazing to share that with him. We
both have our separate relationships with God through prayer, but we haven't
made a habit of praying together as a couple. We both felt a real sense of
peace after that and although of course I have still shed many tears today I
haven't felt that sense of despair that I had yesterday afternoon.
Anyway, I know it will be three months or so until we can experience
prayer like that together again, but we are going to make a real effort to
continue praying together at night before bed once dh returns. I can't wait.
Just one more thing to look forward to in his homecoming.
Thank you again everyone for all the encouraging posts and for sharing
this difficult time for me. You are truly amazing women and I thank each and
every one of you for what you have given me. You are all so unique and bring
such a different perspective to things and I love reading how you see things
and how you choose to share yourselves with me. Thank you for that.
Kate
*******************
December 16, 2006
Just wanted to know
how you're doing.
Been thinking 'boucha....have you heard from your hubby?
Praying as always! (dawnie)
Hey, dawn, thanks for asking! I'm doing
okay. I was supposed to go for coffee this afternoon and someone was going to
watch the kids so I could have a break and they ended up cancelling about 30
min before we were supposed to go. That was kind of a bummer. but dh did call a
short while after they cancelled and I wouldn't have been able to hear him as
well had I been in a coffee shop so then I wasn't quite as bummed.
Dh made it to Kuwait. He thinks he'll be there a day or two before then
send him off to Iraq. I am still irritated about the whole situation, but dh is
waiting for an email from a guy here in MN who was working on getting him a
physical therapist at his base so hopefully that will work out and I can relax
a little as far as his treatment is concerned. I still can't believe that they
don't take a guy's civillian job into account before they decide to
"clear" him to return to duty. But I digress...
I have been playing with photos of the kids and posted a couple on the
"ones that didn't make it" thread. Dh has the original file of our
Christmas pic with him. Oops! I'll have to scan in a copy of the actual card
after I get them back.
I am thinking a bubble bath sounds pretty good right about now so I'll
probably be shutting down pretty soon here and heading off to the tub.
Thanks again for asking about me and for all the prayers. I know it
really does help.
Kate
Oh man, bummer.
Again, too bad you all don't live here, I could watch your kids for you so you
could get out more. Ah, well, I digress too.....
Glad you heard and that things are going ok, I will update SS tomorrow,
and lots of us are praying about the whole thing.
Enjoy your bath....I usually do that more often myself when hubby is
gone.
Hey, that pic in your signature is hilarious! Is that your daughter?????
It looks so much like Bubba that I did a double take! Same face, same
expression, eegads!
Have a good night, and try to relax and enjoy yourself! Hope the kids
are doing better now too!(Dawnie)
*************
December 19, 2006
So I just got off the phone with dh and he
said that now it's looking like they won't be leaving his base to head for
Kuwait and then the US until March 15 or later. (before he left for R&R he
was told Feb 15 or so) My birthday is March 24 and with the amount of troops
they have to move and the travel from overseas and the demobilization and all
that it really doesn't look like he'll be home for my birthday.
He was home for his mom's funeral the beginning of March this year and
left to return to MS the 21st and then on to Iraq the 27th. I know it's not
that big of a deal, it's only a birthday, but I was really hoping he'd actually
be home for my "real" birthday since he missed my "real"
birthday this year and he missed our "real" anniversary when he came
home for R&R.
I'm just feeling grumpy tonight. I suppose part of it is the fact that
he's back with all the other soldiers and their soldier brains so he's going to
get brainwashed into thinking like them again and might actually decide to
reenlist even though when he was home he decided not to. Just having two
conversations with him since he's been back in Iraq I can tell the difference
in his thinking.
Anyway, if y'all want to pray a speccific prayer for me and dh, please
pray that he's home in my arms on/before my birthday. Thanks!
Peace out!
Kate
***************
December 25, 2006
So dh got the "official" word
that his group that is stationed at his base will begin training their
replacements early Feb and that he will be done at his base as of Feb 23!!!
BUT- Remember that this is the military...
He said that doesn't mean he will be coming home then. All it means is
he and his group will be "out of harms way." Right now they are
scheduled to leave for the US March 15. He said it is likely they'll be sitting
on their butts at their current base between Feb 23 and Mar 15 but one of his
commanders is working on getting them sent home early!
I am not even going to begin to start hoping that he'll be home that
early, but even if it's the 15th it will be before my birthday (which is what
I've been praying for all along!).
So Merry Christmas to me! This was wonderful news, especially today!
Kate
*********
December 27, 2006
So ds2 has been having a really hard time
with daddy being gone this time around. He has little screaming fits where he
wants his daddy or needs to hug his daddy or whatever. So I told him that since
daddy's not here in person we have to send him "angel hugs" and then
God can deliver them for us. So I have him hug himself and then we pray
"dear God, please send this angel hug to daddy. Amen." The amazing
thing is that ds2 calms right down after we do that!
Tonight he got up after I put him to bed and was hollering down the vent
at me. "Mom! I didn't give an angel hug to my daddy!!!" We sent daddy
an angel hug and he went straight to bed.
I just thought if anyone else had kids who were missing their loved ones
this might be something to try.
Kate