Day's Eye and Industrious

It never ceases to amaze me how well my children's names fit their personalities.  Daisy and Amelia have birthdays in June so I've been thinking a lot about what makes each of them special.

Daisy is our sunshine girl.  When I think of "day's eye" (the meaning of her name) I think of sunshine.  It was no coincidence that she was born on the summer solstice.  She has the natural ability to brighten the room when she walks in.  Daisy also has the baby-of-the-family goofiness.  When I looked up celebrities who are also babies of their families I found every name listed was a comedian.  No surprise there!  She makes us laugh and smile every day with her antics.  Whether making a "wormstache" or simply choosing her own wardrobe, life with Daisy is certainly a lot of fun. 

 

Amelia means "industrious" which certainly fits her perfectly. She received the "leader" award for her kindergarten graduation this year.  When I need help around the house she is the first to offer her assistance.  Often if I simply suggest "We should clean our rooms today" a little while later she will come get me to see what she's done.  While the rest of the kids were procrastinating or complaining, she was hard at work cleaning her bedroom.  Amelia is wonderful with kids.  I will be shocked if she doesn't go into a field where she works with children.  She is also an excellent artist and very creative. Her self-portrait of what she wants to be when she grows up was by far the most detailed and colorful of her class.  She has a kind and caring heart and is constantly bringing me the sweetest notes with drawings of herself and me saying "I love you Mome." While Daisy may be the sunshine of our family, Amelia is the rainbow.

The girls in 2009 

At their dance program Spring 2012

As they celebrate their birthdays this year, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have two amazing daughters in my life.  Each brings her own unique personality to our family and it is so fun to see them grow into such wonderful little people.

Ten Years of Motherhood

Ten years ago I celebrated my first Mother's Day a week overdue with my first child.  I think the doctor jinxed me by setting an induction date for the Monday after Mother's Day and saying I wouldn't even need it because I'd certainly have my baby home by then. Caleb seemed to take that as a challenge to stay put for as long as possible.  May 13, 2002 we welcomed our first child into this world.


Tomorrow I not only celebrate ten years of being a mom, but I also celebrate Caleb's tenth birthday.  It's amazing how quickly the time has gone.  It seems only yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital and calling grandma to come over and entertain him at 2am when he was wide awake and his parents were too exhausted to stay up with him.


Now he's two inches shy of five feet tall and challenging his five-foot-two grandma that he'll pass her up by his next birthday.  He probably will. It's been fun to see him grow into the young man he's becoming.  I love looking through old pictures from when we were doing construction on our house and seeing Caleb right next to my dad complete with his toy hammer and nails "helping" build.  He's always been a great helper.

Auntie Kelsey and Caleb 2005

Gone are the chubby toddler cheeks that were so sweet to smooch.  They've been replaced with the face of a boy.  Just the other day I saw him running across the gym with his class and thought to myself how "grown up" he looked.


Caleb has never been one to get excited over things.  He's very even tempered and easy going.  For him, being excited means an extra sparkle in his eyes and a slightly wider grin.  I saw that sparkle when my brother invited him to go to Washington, DC with his family.  I wasn't sure how he'd react to the invitation since he's very much a homebody, but that sparkle was there immediately when he realized what that "fake" airplane ticket meant.


It was there again when he opened his birthday present a week early.  He found this lego set in one of his books that he really wanted; The Crystal Reaper. We found it on ebay for over $200 brand new which was way too much for our budget. There was one used set that was up for auction and ending that night and I told him we could try to bid on that one.  He sat in my bedroom while I was on the computer waiting to see if we won.  I gave a heavy sigh when the auction ended and he said, "We didn't get it did we? That's okay mom." And went down to bed.


Little did he know that I actually won it for him.  As he was opening his gift we could see him slowly realize what it was that he was opening.  That sparkle and grin were there when he rushed over to me, wrapped his arms around me and said, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  I love you mom."  Money well spent to see him that happy.

 So tonight we are going out with grandma to celebrate ten years of motherhood, ten years of grandmotherhood and a tenth birthday. My how the time flies!

Do It Yourself

I tend to be a "do it yourself" kind of girl.  Not the "You should have your own show on HGTV! That is so cute how you did that!" kind of girl, but the "I don't have time to wait around for someone else to assemble/hang/move/etc this so I'll just do it myself" kind of girl.


Don't get me wrong, my husband is perfectly capable of helping out and doing this sort of task for me, but I tend to grow impatient waiting for his help and it's much easier to just do it myself. I'm sure part of this stems from when he was deployed and I didn't really have anyone home to help me. The kids were 3, 2 and 5mos when he left so they weren't much help. Yes, my dad and mom live next door, but again, I would be stuck waiting for someone else's schedule to open up and fit me in. That queen-sized waterbed and pine cabinet wouldn't move themselves to the basement. That bookshelf wasn't going to move to the other room all by itself. So rather than waiting for help, I did it myself.


These past weeks have been full of little projects. After getting a second shoe cubby for our entryway, I decided I needed hooks for the kids' coats and backpacks above them. So I bought some and put them up. Then I decided it would be nice to fill the space between the ceiling and the hooks with a dry erase/magnet board/cork board/calendar organizer I found, so I put that up as well. The final touch to that wall was to move the kids' school pictures to either side of the board. It seems off-balance for my symmetrically-oriented brain since Daisy isn't in school yet and I don't have an 8x10 of her, but I am forcing myself to be okay with it. Eventually I may have her draw a self-portrait to hang in a frame in her "space" until she starts kindergarten, but for now it's going to be okay.

Wall above the shoe cubbies

Since there are no vehicle repairs to suck up our federal refund this year, we are going to be finishing our bedroom. We need to install the pine ceiling and the laminate flooring, add trim and window treatments and we're set! Yesterday we went to IKEA which is one of my all-time favorite stores. We don't get to the cities very often so we decided to go ahead and purchase a shelf, chair and ottoman for our room while we were there. These were my projects for today.

Projects 1 and 2: The Chair and Ottoman

Finished! Total time: 45min

Project 3: The Shelf (not pictured-the wicker boxes)

Finished! Total time: 45min

My favorite comment of the day was from Brady: "Mom, is that your new shelf?  And you did it all by yourself?  That's awesome!  It's really cool that you can do that by yourself."


My fourth project for the day: Write and post this blog while enjoying my new chair an ottoman. :)  Done.

Scriptures for encouragement

So in my Deployment: December 2006 post I make reference to a thread that was started by one of my online MOPS friends for people to post scripture for myself and anyone else going through a rough time in their lives.  I decided to post is separately so I could easily reference it as needed in the future.


It's interesting how this post has encouraged me as much today as it did back when I first read it five years ago.  To be honest, the closer the threads get to when Mike's unit was extended the more difficult it has been for me to go through them.  Reading the hopefulness in my posts and knowing that things didn't work out the way I had hoped is difficult to relive. The timing of this post couldn't have been better.  I love how God knows just what we need to hear.


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December 9, 2006

Post your scriptures here for Kate D and anyone else…

....going through a rough time right now, with Christmas coming, or just any of us who are in need of some encouragement!
There seems to be a lot of us facing some tough times right now, so I thought we could post some uflifting verses to help each other through!

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." Proverbs 18:10 (dawnie)

Psalm 91:4
"He will cover me with His feathers, and under His wings will I find refuge. His faithfulness is my sheild and rampart."

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, whose thoughts are fixed on You." (kalette)

Isaiah 43:1-3a "But now saith the Lord that created thee , O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior. (mountain mama)

Psalm 113:7 "The Lord raises the needy from the dust, lifts the poor from ash heap."

Psalm 70:6 "Here I am, afflicted and poor. God, come quickly! You are my help and deliverer. Lord do not delay." (allycat)

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

I know it's not usually seen as a verse of comfort, but we should look at it carefully.
God has a plan - a "good work" - that He is working out in us ~ experience by experience ... day by day ... moment by moment. His goal is to make us more like Himself. I am confident, that though times are hard and experiences sometimes cause confusion and pain in this life, God is working it all "together for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."

If you have given your life to Christ and keep your eyes on Him, even when your world seems to be crumbling around you, you can be absoluely certain that it WILL all work out for good. (janet)

"O taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man that takes refuge in Him. Fear the Lord, ye His saints, for those who fear Him lack nothing. The young lions do lack and suffer hunger , but those who seek the Lord shall not want any good thing. Come ye children, harken unto me and I will teach you the fear of the Lord." Psalm 34: 8-10 (evaG)

Bumping up.......
Today our pastor had a message about the kind of person God uses....it was so upflifting. As it is almost Christmas, he used Mary as the example. He talked about how Mary wasn't rich, educated, especially gifted, or perfect. She was just willing to be used by God for his plan. How encouraging for us to know that God can use US, me!, far from perfect, often broken, but HE can use ME, as I am , in whatever circumstance I am, for His plan, so long as I am just willing to let him work......wow! Anyway, I thought I would add that, although I have simplified his message, I was really moved by hearing this simple truth again. (dawnie)

Pandora's Box

It's strange, you know, stepping into the past for a while. My heart hurts a bit, yet it is filled with the reassurance that he chose me and nothing else matters.

Mike had to clean out his bedroom at his dad's old house and found a box of notes from high school and a stack of letters and two journals from right before we met. Maybe it was wrong of me, but I couldn't help myself and I did have his blessing. I just had to peek into the minds of these women who came before me.

The high school ones weren't so bad. They were the typical "first love" infatuation and clinginess. In some I got a glimpse of what her life was like and that her home life really wasn't that great. It explained a lot about why she latched on to Mike as strongly as she did back then and also a lot of why she had such destructive behavior in their relationship. She didn't really have a model in her life to follow. I kind of feel sorry for her and I have definitely moved beyond the thinking that she was nothing more than a psycho freak. Realistically she was your typical high school girl in her first serious relationship and not so different from myself at that age (although my boyfriend was the clingy one in our relationship).

I was more selective with what I read from his other correspondences since that was much more personal. He had been dating a girl who was a year ahead of me in high school when we met. I read through letters from the month Mike was still dating her when we first met. I could tell they were having problems before I came into the picture. It was nice to read that I didn't steal him away from her as had been depicted to me by a (former) mutual friend. I had been told that they had been talking marriage before I came into the picture and in all honesty, it sounds like Mike had mentioned it in conversation and she hadn't been interested. She sounded shocked that he would even be thinking like that since it wasn't really on her mind yet and they were both still in college.

There were a few from after he had broken up with her and we started dating and as silly as it seems, I think those bother me the most. She tried so hard to get him to go back to her. She even told him lies about me that were alluded to in the letters, but spoken to him in person. I guess I have a hard time understanding how someone I knew through band in high school who I never really hung out with outside of school and who I never spoke to about my personal life could tell Mike that she knew me and we were friends and "there's more but I have to tell you in person." Of course I know now that she was just trying to make me look bad, but she told him I was a slut and I can't help but wonder if she came up with that on her own or if there was actually something going around about me like that. It baffles me because that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Perhaps I'm empathetic to a fault, but reading those letters gave me an insight into a person with very high walls who was very vulnerable inside. A person who didn't realize the amazing man she had in her life until he had moved on to someone new. A person who really was never right for him anyway, but who still acted so desperately to try to hold on to him. I can still remember writing a letter to Mike explaining to him that her seemingly innocent requests "as a friend" were really just ways she was trying to work her way back into his heart and if that's what he wanted to tell me now because I wasn't about to be strung along while they played games.

Obviously things ended in my favor, but I sometimes wonder how things could have worked differently to allow me to keep the friend that I lost through everything. Certainly she wasn't as close a friend as I had thought if she would choose sides rather than stay neutral when two of her friends liked the same guy. Regardless of the circumstances it still hurts to lose a friend.

July 1st is the 14th anniversary of our first date. I know none of this stuff matters anymore. He loves me and we have a wonderful family together and we were meant to be. Yet somehow my heart still hurts a bit when I think about the events that took place that summer and the lives that were changed because of it.

 

Teaching Band

I found this on my whiteboard after the band concert tonight. It honestly brought me to tears.  Let me back up for a moment...


I am not a "band teacher."  My degree is a Bachelor of Music in vocal music education. I am trained to teach classroom music and choir. Sure, I had "Basic Instrumental Techniques" for a semester at St. Olaf which was basically a crash course in each family of the orchestra just in case we would ever find ourselves in a situation similar to that in which I find myself today. I honestly never thought I would need to use it. 


When I was offered the job teaching K-8 classroom music, band, and choir, I honestly had a hard time with the idea of teaching band. I am a person who likes to do things the best that I possibly can do them and I really don't like the idea of doing a less-than-fabulous job at anything, especially when I am getting paid to do it. I knew that with my experience playing clarinet in band from middle school through high school (and even one semester in college) and the minimal training I had at St. Olaf that I could totally fake my way through teaching band. The problem was that I didn't want to just fake it. I wanted to be good at it and that in and of itself was a problem.


I haven't been trained in how to teach beginners to play instruments. I can totally figure out how to make a sound on pretty much anything, but teaching beginners how to do the same really seemed like a daunting task. Nevertheless, I decided to make the most of the 30 minutes twice a week that I had in my schedule to teach band.


I would be lying if I said it was easy to jump right in. It would also be a lie to say that I have enjoyed every moment of my first year as a band director. In all honesty, that part of my job has probably been the most frustrating and yet tonight it proved to also be one of the most rewarding.


Last Thursday I was preparing myself for a disaster. To my ears, the band (which consists of two drummers, three trumpets, three saxophones, four flutes and one clarinet) sounded terrible. I had no idea how they were going to manage to pull it together for the concert. Yesterday's rehearsal was a little more promising, but I still wasn't convinced that I wanted to be standing in front of this group of kids taking credit (or blame?) for their performance.


This afternoon we had our dress rehearsal. It went okay. I knew the kids were nervous performing in front of their friends and I hoped that the evening's performance would be better since it would be for their parents, after all, that is the audience that really matters.


The kids were antsy before the concert. At the last minute we decided to add "Ode to Joy" back into the lineup. During this afternoon's rehearsal we had made the decision to cut it because it was the worst song in the dress rehearsal. After a conversation with a fellow teacher who told me that song was her favorite of the afternoon, I started to have a change of heart. When we lined up to go on stage I spontaneously asked them to vote thumbs up for "let's do it" and thumbs down for "I'd rather not." Thumbs up won. We proceeded to enter the gym and walked up on stage and those kids played their songs the best they have ever played them. No, they weren't perfect, but you don't expect perfection from a beginner band. Each of those students worked so hard to play to the best of his or her ability and the result was their best performance to date.


I am so proud of those kids. Teaching band is still something I struggle with, but I can honestly say that it was worth every headache. To end the year with a performance like that and to be greeted by that whiteboard message when I returned to my room made it all worthwhile. This is why I love what I do.