Also, peoples' comments I included are in italics with the person's name in parenthesis
September 13, 2006
I wanna cry… no particular reason, I just
wanna!
So maybe it's that time of the month
or maybe the cold/allergies I (still haven't figured out which)
or maybe 2 of my kids peeing through their diapers last night/this morning (one in MY bed)
leading to extra
loads of laundry
or maybe the disasterousness of my house when I have a piano tuner coming this afternoon
or maybe it's the fact that ds1 was goofing around at lunch and spilled milk on a fresh tablecloth
or maybe it's because the spilt milk caused us to be late getting ds1 to preschool
or maybe it's ds2 screaming like a banshee because he wants to go to preschool, too but can't because he's not toilet trained yet (you'd think that would be a motivator, but it's not)
or maybe it's because dh always calls at the worst moments possible (running late for preschool is a great example)
or maybe it's because dh hasn't been able to call after the kids are in bed like he usually does so I haven't had an uninterrupted phone call from him in days
or maybe because dh just told me the exact dates of his leave and he'll miss our anniversary by one day
or maybe it's because the Marines dh's company is stationed with/attached to get to go home in February, but dh thinks the NG will just ship his company somewhere to sit on their butts until everyone else they're deployed with get to go home, too (a month or so later)
or maybe it's because the owner of the yarn store I stopped at on the way home from bringing ds1 to preschool wasn't in so I couldn't order the pattern books I wanted
or maybe it's because I just found out that the girl who babysits for me didn't quit her summer job afterall and is still working weekends so I won't be able to go out to dinner with my mom and sister Friday night after all
or maybe it's because I'm sitting here thinking about all the reasons I want to cry when I really should be upstairs getting ready for the piano tuner
There, I feel better now. Feel free to add your reasons to the list. It really is therapeutic! Misery loves company, right? That way we can wallow together. *heavy sigh* now back to work.
or maybe the cold/allergies I (still haven't figured out which)
or maybe 2 of my kids peeing through their diapers last night/this morning (one in MY bed)
or maybe the disasterousness of my house when I have a piano tuner coming this afternoon
or maybe it's the fact that ds1 was goofing around at lunch and spilled milk on a fresh tablecloth
or maybe it's because the spilt milk caused us to be late getting ds1 to preschool
or maybe it's ds2 screaming like a banshee because he wants to go to preschool, too but can't because he's not toilet trained yet (you'd think that would be a motivator, but it's not)
or maybe it's because dh always calls at the worst moments possible (running late for preschool is a great example)
or maybe it's because dh hasn't been able to call after the kids are in bed like he usually does so I haven't had an uninterrupted phone call from him in days
or maybe because dh just told me the exact dates of his leave and he'll miss our anniversary by one day
or maybe it's because the Marines dh's company is stationed with/attached to get to go home in February, but dh thinks the NG will just ship his company somewhere to sit on their butts until everyone else they're deployed with get to go home, too (a month or so later)
or maybe it's because the owner of the yarn store I stopped at on the way home from bringing ds1 to preschool wasn't in so I couldn't order the pattern books I wanted
or maybe it's because I just found out that the girl who babysits for me didn't quit her summer job afterall and is still working weekends so I won't be able to go out to dinner with my mom and sister Friday night after all
or maybe it's because I'm sitting here thinking about all the reasons I want to cry when I really should be upstairs getting ready for the piano tuner
There, I feel better now. Feel free to add your reasons to the list. It really is therapeutic! Misery loves company, right? That way we can wallow together. *heavy sigh* now back to work.
HI HO, HI HO, it's off to work I go. To clean some junk before I'm sunk. HI HO, HI HO...
**********
September 14, 2006
*update* I wanna cry!
I just wanted to share with you all that I
have the best mom in the entire universe. Really, I know each of you may
disagree with me, but seriously, mine is really the best.
So one of my "cry" reasons in my pity party yesterday was that my babysitter has to work weekends now so I wouldn't get to go out to dinner Friday night with my sister and my mom and a couple of friends. If I had more notice I would definitely try to find another sitter, but I need to have her come over when I'm home and see how she is with the kids before I'd be comfortable leaving her alone with them. KWIM? So I just resigned myself to staying home and having them bring me leftovers and dessert. I was okay with that, really. (at least I told myself I was)
Well, anyway, my mom talked to my sister and they decided that I needed the night out more than my mom does so she is watching my kids for me so I can go out tomorrow night. I'm so happy I could cry. Well, now that I'm writing it I am tearing up a little. See what I mean that my mom is the best? I didn't even tell her the stuff on my list and she could just tell that I needed a break. I know I said that my mom is the best, but I really hope all you gals have moms who do cool stuff like that for you, too.
Oh, and I did get the upstairs of my house clean for the piano tuner and my piano is fabulous! (I have played it more in the last 24 hours than I have in the last 6 mos) Between my piano and my awesome mom today has been so great compared to yesterday.
Thanks for all the kind words and for joining in my "party" yesterday. Misery really does love company, but so does happiness so I guess I'd just have to say that I love company in general.
Oh, and dh will be home 1 month from Sunday!!!! WOOHOO!!!! *doing the happy dance* Okay, on that happy note I should be off to bed. I have to clean my house for my mom coming over tomorrow night!
So one of my "cry" reasons in my pity party yesterday was that my babysitter has to work weekends now so I wouldn't get to go out to dinner Friday night with my sister and my mom and a couple of friends. If I had more notice I would definitely try to find another sitter, but I need to have her come over when I'm home and see how she is with the kids before I'd be comfortable leaving her alone with them. KWIM? So I just resigned myself to staying home and having them bring me leftovers and dessert. I was okay with that, really. (at least I told myself I was)
Well, anyway, my mom talked to my sister and they decided that I needed the night out more than my mom does so she is watching my kids for me so I can go out tomorrow night. I'm so happy I could cry. Well, now that I'm writing it I am tearing up a little. See what I mean that my mom is the best? I didn't even tell her the stuff on my list and she could just tell that I needed a break. I know I said that my mom is the best, but I really hope all you gals have moms who do cool stuff like that for you, too.
Oh, and I did get the upstairs of my house clean for the piano tuner and my piano is fabulous! (I have played it more in the last 24 hours than I have in the last 6 mos) Between my piano and my awesome mom today has been so great compared to yesterday.
Thanks for all the kind words and for joining in my "party" yesterday. Misery really does love company, but so does happiness so I guess I'd just have to say that I love company in general.
Oh, and dh will be home 1 month from Sunday!!!! WOOHOO!!!! *doing the happy dance* Okay, on that happy note I should be off to bed. I have to clean my house for my mom coming over tomorrow night!
**********
September 15, 2006
So I talked to my dh this morning and he told me about a month ago he broke up a fight between two guys and hurt his wrist. When he had it checked out they said it was just sprained. It's never gotten any better so he had it checked out again (yesterday?) and they took an x-ray and it's broken and he'll have to have surgery. He'll talk to his commander later today to find out what that means. The only thing it hinders is his lifting so he doesn't know if he'll be sent home or not. He's the only guy who can do his job so he's not looking forward to training someone in the event he does get sent home. (I don't see the issue there- training someone to do your job so you can come home early doesn't seem like a big issue to me)
Of course I am immediately hoping that it's bad enough for him to be sent home for good. I know that's bad of me, but I'm human and I miss my husband! I mean it has to be bad if he needs surgery and with his day-job being in law enforcement I would hate for him to injure his wrist so badly that he wouldn't be able to be a deputy anymore. It's just not worth it! Oh, his other reason for not wanting to be sent home is that if he re-enlists over there he gets a bonus tax-free. Yes, that's a benefit, but maybe this is a sign that he's not meant to re-enlist after all. It would be absolutely stupid for him to risk doing permanant damage just to get a tax break.
Anyway, please pray for the situation all around. Of course I now have my hopes up and I know I shouldn't. I am also worried that this will mess with his leave. *sigh* I just don't know what to think about all this.
Thanks for all your support. I really appreciate it!
Kate
So I just had a conversation with dh that began with "I have some good news and some bad news..." Here's the deal as of right now. There are two options. 1. he goes to Baghdad to a specialist and then to Germany for surgery and then to the US for therapy and his deployment is over. 2. he gets a cast put on and has surgery when the deployment is over in March. Obviously since he needs to be able to use both his wrists in his law enforcement job waiting isn't really an option since things could easily get much worse. So the "good news" is that it looks like his deployment will be ending early. *doing a happy dance and hoping it's not premature*
The "bad news" part was that he thinks his leave will be cancelled so he won't be home in October after all. I know the boys will be bummed (especially ds1 who keeps asking if daddy will be home for "pumpkin day"), but at the same time if he gets to come home for good sooner then that's a better deal anyway. I had actually been worried about how the kids would react to daddy leaving again after his leave so as much as I want to see him, I think I can handle waiting a little while longer if I have to.
The only thing he said that may be an issue is that so far the guys who have been sent back to the US have been sent to Georgia for their physical therapy and then given two weeks leave to go home and then had to return to Georgia. He is hoping that he will be able to go to a VA clinic in Minnesota for his therapy, but there's no gaurantee there. I just don't know what to think. It would be so hard to have him in the states and not have him home with us, you know?
Anyway, thanks for the prayers and please keep them coming! I really appreciate it.
Kate
**********
September 16, 2006
*WARNING MAJOR VENT TO FOLLOW*
So can I just say that they must have the most incompetent doctors serving in our military?!?!?! I just got off the phone with my dh and now he's being told that it's just torn ligaments so they're putting a cast on and waiting to see it if better after he comes home for leave. How in the world can it go from being a "bad sprain" a month ago to yesterday being broken so badly he needed surgery and now it's just torn ligaments?
I don't get it. I mean the doctor yesterday is the one who told dh's commander how bad it was and that he needed to get out of there and have it taken care of ASAP. It was the commander who told dh and then of course dh told me.
This emotional rollercoaster ride just has to stop! I am so sick and tired of not knowing what is exactly going on and whether or not they have it right this time. This is my husband for crying out loud how do they know they have it right this time? What if he really does need surgery and now it's going to get worse?
I am so shocked and angry and emotional and I haven't cried this hard in months. I never would have thought anything of it had the information not come from dh's COMMANDER yesterday. Of course now I'm thinking it's just a conspiracy to not have to find someone to fill dh's position since dh is actually a fill-in for another guy who got injured and was sent home.
Anyway, I'm just at a loss for even what to do. So at least he'll be home in October as planned and I don't give a darn whether or not the military approves it, but I will be taking him to a local doctor to get checked out. I mean if 3-4 doctors over there looked at him and all of them got a different diagnosis I don't know what is going on over there. I hate that he is being cared for by people who obviously don't really know what they're doing. Yes, people make mistakes, but this is HUGE! I just don't see how it can go from so bad to not so bad overnight.
Sorry for the long vent. I just needed to get it all out so I can actually function today. They boys are already concerned about me. "Why are you sad, Mommy?" I don't even know what to tell them.
Thanks for your prayers and support. My kids need me so I have to get going.
Kate
So can I just say that they must have the most incompetent doctors serving in our military?!?!?! I just got off the phone with my dh and now he's being told that it's just torn ligaments so they're putting a cast on and waiting to see it if better after he comes home for leave. How in the world can it go from being a "bad sprain" a month ago to yesterday being broken so badly he needed surgery and now it's just torn ligaments?
I don't get it. I mean the doctor yesterday is the one who told dh's commander how bad it was and that he needed to get out of there and have it taken care of ASAP. It was the commander who told dh and then of course dh told me.
This emotional rollercoaster ride just has to stop! I am so sick and tired of not knowing what is exactly going on and whether or not they have it right this time. This is my husband for crying out loud how do they know they have it right this time? What if he really does need surgery and now it's going to get worse?
I am so shocked and angry and emotional and I haven't cried this hard in months. I never would have thought anything of it had the information not come from dh's COMMANDER yesterday. Of course now I'm thinking it's just a conspiracy to not have to find someone to fill dh's position since dh is actually a fill-in for another guy who got injured and was sent home.
Anyway, I'm just at a loss for even what to do. So at least he'll be home in October as planned and I don't give a darn whether or not the military approves it, but I will be taking him to a local doctor to get checked out. I mean if 3-4 doctors over there looked at him and all of them got a different diagnosis I don't know what is going on over there. I hate that he is being cared for by people who obviously don't really know what they're doing. Yes, people make mistakes, but this is HUGE! I just don't see how it can go from so bad to not so bad overnight.
Sorry for the long vent. I just needed to get it all out so I can actually function today. They boys are already concerned about me. "Why are you sad, Mommy?" I don't even know what to tell them.
Thanks for your prayers and support. My kids need me so I have to get going.
Kate
**********
Thanks everyone. I emailed dh's 1st SGT earlier today and I just got a response. He didn't have an explanation for all the changes in the diagnosis, but he did say that he would trust the medics there and they are all actual doctors and not PAs and if anything looks like it's not going right he will personally drag my dh to the helicopter and put his butt on it to go get checked out by some specialist. Hearing that does help me feel better about the treatment he is getting. The 1st SGT is a firefighter and a father of 4 so I do believe that he understands how much I need to make sure dh is being treated appropriately so there is no permanent damage. I guess dh is in a soft cast and on light duty and if he doesn't follow orders and tries to do too much the 1st SGT promised me that he'd take dh off duty completely and I believe him.
Since he's National Guard and not active Army I have no idea how things work for seeing a civillian doctor or whatever. I am definitely going to have him checked out by a local doctor when he's home in October. Something just doesn't seem right about the people examining dh over there, even if the 1st SGT says differently.
I'm just still reeling from all that I have been told in the last 24 hours or so and I'm trying to make sense of it all and nothing seems to make any sense at all. I can't understand why I would be told something that got my hopes up about dh coming home early (coming from the Commander so I thought it was pretty legit!) only to be slapped in the face like this and told oops, we made a mistake, sorry. I'm sorry, but that's not good enough for me.
On the bright side, dh will be home on leave one month from tomorrow. I just need to focus on that and stop feeling so sorry for myself that things aren't working out the way I thought they would when I first heard he needed surgery and was being sent home early. There's nothing I can do about any of it and it doesn't do me or my kids any good to mope around the house all day. I think I'll go play my piano for a while. That usually helps.
Thank you again for all your support. I love that I can "talk" to all of you and still get the words out even though I'm crying. That's the nice thing about typing. You don't have to actually be able to talk. honestly, I don't know what I would do without the support I have gotten from you women. Thank you doesn't even begin to cover it.
Since he's National Guard and not active Army I have no idea how things work for seeing a civillian doctor or whatever. I am definitely going to have him checked out by a local doctor when he's home in October. Something just doesn't seem right about the people examining dh over there, even if the 1st SGT says differently.
I'm just still reeling from all that I have been told in the last 24 hours or so and I'm trying to make sense of it all and nothing seems to make any sense at all. I can't understand why I would be told something that got my hopes up about dh coming home early (coming from the Commander so I thought it was pretty legit!) only to be slapped in the face like this and told oops, we made a mistake, sorry. I'm sorry, but that's not good enough for me.
On the bright side, dh will be home on leave one month from tomorrow. I just need to focus on that and stop feeling so sorry for myself that things aren't working out the way I thought they would when I first heard he needed surgery and was being sent home early. There's nothing I can do about any of it and it doesn't do me or my kids any good to mope around the house all day. I think I'll go play my piano for a while. That usually helps.
Thank you again for all your support. I love that I can "talk" to all of you and still get the words out even though I'm crying. That's the nice thing about typing. You don't have to actually be able to talk. honestly, I don't know what I would do without the support I have gotten from you women. Thank you doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh, Kate.....Bummer! I was just going to reply to your email and tell you I was gald you were doing better....and then I read this! I am so sorry for all this pain and confusion! I know it is hard with the kids...when they go to bed, just go sit in the tub and cry! That's what I do when hubby is gone and things just get to be too much. It helps. I hope that your church can be a real, physical help and support for you tomorrow, and there is always your nicely tuned piano! I will be saying extra prayers for you and your family tonight, and have our Sunday school class praying for you guys too! {{{{{MORE HUGS}}}}} Hang in there!
Oh, and BTW, Holland is pretty close to me, and Grandville is even closer! (dawnie)
Oh, and BTW, Holland is pretty close to me, and Grandville is even closer! (dawnie)
**********
September 17, 2006
Doing the happy dance, care to join me?
So after yesterday's major drama/issues I decided I could use a happy dance for various reasons...
If all goes as currently scheduled (which I won't hold my breath since this IS the military)...
DH will be home for R&R 1 MONTH FROM TODAY!!!!!! *dancing for joy*Also, I want to do a happy dance for/with all my MOPS friends who have been so supportive of me during this deployment. Thanks and a big group hug to/with all of you! The drama of military life is something I could never have predicted. Since dh is National Guard and not active duty I had no clue the issues that may come up. It really means a lot to be able to come and post about my joys and struggles and find so many caring women willing to share with what's going on in my life.
*dancing for joy with my MOPS buddies*
((((((((big group hug))))))))
Of course we need to do one more happy dance for Cheryl who's dh will be home even sooner than mine! (for good, may I add
)
*dancing for joy for Cheryl*
Thanks again for dancing with me and let the countdown begin!!!Kate
PS Cheryl- When I told dh about your dh's experience with Navy doctors he laughed and said the doctors he's seeing are actually Navy doctors! I guess the Marines he's stationed with don't have their own doctors so they use Navy guys. Doesn't make much sense to me, but I'm finding that very little about the military really makes sense to the average citizen who has any sense of logic whatsoever.
If all goes as currently scheduled (which I won't hold my breath since this IS the military)...
DH will be home for R&R 1 MONTH FROM TODAY!!!!!! *dancing for joy*Also, I want to do a happy dance for/with all my MOPS friends who have been so supportive of me during this deployment. Thanks and a big group hug to/with all of you! The drama of military life is something I could never have predicted. Since dh is National Guard and not active duty I had no clue the issues that may come up. It really means a lot to be able to come and post about my joys and struggles and find so many caring women willing to share with what's going on in my life.
*dancing for joy with my MOPS buddies*
((((((((big group hug))))))))
Of course we need to do one more happy dance for Cheryl who's dh will be home even sooner than mine! (for good, may I add
)*dancing for joy for Cheryl*
Thanks again for dancing with me and let the countdown begin!!!Kate
PS Cheryl- When I told dh about your dh's experience with Navy doctors he laughed and said the doctors he's seeing are actually Navy doctors! I guess the Marines he's stationed with don't have their own doctors so they use Navy guys. Doesn't make much sense to me, but I'm finding that very little about the military really makes sense to the average citizen who has any sense of logic whatsoever.
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